An Unending Pain

Dottie T. Bradshaw, Poet

December 4, 2009 • Dottie T. Bradshaw, Poet  
Filed under Poetry

Yes I grew up with a mom

But no dad in the picture

So there was always a miss and no mister

All the pain I had when I was little

To see my mom struggle for days

Just for me to live life in a better way

I was too young to get a job

So there was nothing for me to do

Just sit back and think about all the things me and my mom were going through

No real father love because you weren’t there

So the spot you were supposed to fill, was cold and bare

Yes, men came in and out of my mother’s life

But none of them felt right

They left eventually

Because they used my mom, some even tried to get to me

It was a shame, to see another side of life

I guess to my dad I was a waste of space

Something that should have stayed unborn

Something he wished he could have erased

But I’m here now

And I can’t leave no time soon

I’m still getting ready to bloom

Already in high school doing great

Three more years left and I can hardly wait

But now I go home and find out my father’s here

And he wants to make up for lost time

I drop my books and run to my room

And yell, you’re lying

And if you’re not, tell him to go away, and it’s too late to start trying

Trying make up for all the things he missed

Or trying to apologize to us for how he left us in a mist

Treating my mom like dust and me even worse

He gave me thirteen years of hurt

Not knowing the man that I was to call father

What man does that

Sits there, gets a girl pregnant then leaves her

Now I sit and cry all night, thinking about all the things I had going for myself

And now that I’m all grown up now

I don’t need his help

My mom is doing well and I’m on top of my game in school

Also in sports, too

Articles, fans, I’ve got the fame

Everywhere I go someone is yelling out my name

Why did he finally come because thirteen years of her life past and she can’t get it back

You can’t fix something you can’t replace

And all the memories I wanted with you, you can’t make

I finally come out and say

I don’t want to make up lost time and I’m going to keep the clock turning

Till this day I can’t figure why my father showed up that day

All I know is that the pain my father gave

It is too hard to explain

And it’s an unending pain that won’t go away

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